The clearest warning signs that an aging parent is being scammed show up in two places: how they act, and what their bank statement shows. Watch for sudden secrecy about money, a new "friend" who has grown suddenly involved in their finances, and anxiety or defensiveness when the subject comes up. On the statement, watch for unexplained withdrawals, new names on accounts, and unpaid bills despite plenty of money sitting there. If you spot even one or two of these signs, the next move matters more than the sign itself: talk to your parent without shaming them, then contact their bank, Adult Protective Services, and the Federal Trade Commission.
Key takeaways
- Behavioral signs (secrecy, isolation, a new "friend" near their money) often show up before the money is gone.
- Financial signs (unexplained withdrawals, new accounts, unpaid bills) confirm what the behavior suggested.
- According to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center, adults 60 and older reported $7.7 billion in fraud losses in 2025, a 59 percent jump from the year before.
- Nearly half of elder financial abuse is committed by a family member, according to the National Council on Aging, so the "stranger scammer" picture is incomplete.
- If you spot the signs: talk to your parent first, then contact their bank, Adult Protective Services, and reportfraud.ftc.gov.
What are the behavioral warning signs?
Scams do not start with a stolen bank number. They start with a relationship, and the behavior changes before the money does. A parent who has always talked openly about their finances suddenly goes quiet. A parent who used to call you with every question stops asking. These shifts are easy to miss over a weekly phone call, which is exactly why they go unnoticed for so long.
- Sudden secrecy about money. A parent who once mentioned bills, balances, or a new certificate of deposit without prompting now changes the subject or gets vague when you ask.
- A new "friend," online partner, or helper who is unusually close to their finances. This person may have appeared recently, often online or by phone, and seems to know more about your parent's accounts than family does.
- Isolation from family and friends. Scammers, and relatives who exploit, both work better without witnesses. A parent who used to see friends weekly and now cancels plans, or who only takes calls when a certain person is not around, is showing a classic sign.
- Anxiety, fear, or defensiveness when money comes up. Fear of a family member finding out, fear of "getting in trouble," or panic about missing a payment can point to a scam already in progress.
- Urgency and secrecy around one specific transaction. A rushed trip to the bank, a request to wire money quickly, or reluctance to explain a purchase of gift cards or cryptocurrency.
Any one of these signs on its own could be nothing. An aging parent is allowed to make a new friend or keep their finances private. What matters is the pattern, and whether it lines up with what shows up on paper.
What signs show up on a bank statement?
Behavior tells you where to look. The statement tells you what actually happened. According to the American Bankers Association, tellers and account managers are trained to watch for a specific set of transaction patterns that point to exploitation, and family members can watch for the same things.
- Large or repeated withdrawals with no clear reason. A parent who has never taken out more than a few hundred dollars at a time is suddenly withdrawing thousands, or making the same withdrawal every week.
- Frequent overdrafts or non-sufficient-funds notices. This often means money is leaving the account faster than it comes in, sometimes the moment a deposit clears.
- New names on the account, or credit cards your parent does not remember opening. A joint owner added without a clear reason, or a statement for an account you have never heard of.
- Statements no longer arriving at the house. A changed mailing address, or a sudden switch to paperless statements your parent did not set up, can be an attempt to keep family from seeing the activity.
- Unpaid bills piling up despite adequate funds, or accounts and certificates of deposit closed early with a penalty. Money is going somewhere, and it is not going to the electric company.
None of these require special access to spot. A pile of unopened mail, a bounced check, or a bank calling to verify an unusual wire are all things a family member can notice during an ordinary visit.
How big is the problem, and who is actually behind it?
The scale is larger than most families expect, and it is growing quickly. The FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center reported that adults 60 and older filed more than 201,000 fraud complaints in 2025, with reported losses of $7.7 billion, a 59 percent jump from 2024. The average loss per older victim was $38,500, and more than 12,000 people in this age group lost over $100,000 each. Separately, the Federal Trade Commission found that adults 60 and older reported losing $2.4 billion to fraud in 2024, roughly four times the 2020 total, and estimated the true figure, including fraud that is never reported, could run as high as $81.5 billion.
The picture most families imagine, a stranger calling from overseas, is only part of it. According to the National Council on Aging, family members are the most commonly identified perpetrators in cases of elder abuse, involved in nearly half of incidents where a relationship could be determined. That does not mean every family should be suspicious of each other. It means the warning signs in this article apply just as much to a grandchild who has "started helping with the finances" as they do to a stranger on the phone.
What should you do if you spot the signs?
Talk to your parent first, and skip the shame. The goal is information, not an interrogation. Ask open questions: "I noticed a few large withdrawals on the statement you showed me, can you walk me through what those were for?" A parent who is being scammed is often more afraid of your reaction than of the scammer, especially if they suspect they made a mistake. Stay calm no matter what you hear. The fastest way to lose access to the truth is to make your parent feel foolish about what happened.
Contact their bank. Banks have fraud departments built for exactly this, and many can flag or temporarily hold a suspicious transaction if you or your parent calls quickly enough. If your parent is willing, go with them or get on the phone together. If a specific transfer or check has not cleared yet, speed matters more than anything else here.
Report it to Adult Protective Services. Every state has an Adult Protective Services program, or an equivalent agency, that investigates suspected exploitation of older adults, regardless of whether the person responsible is a stranger or a relative. You do not need proof to make a report. You need a reasonable concern, and APS is set up to take it from there.
Report it to the Federal Trade Commission. File a report at reportfraud.ftc.gov, even if no money has been recovered and even if you are not certain a crime occurred. These reports feed directly into the data law enforcement uses to track scam patterns and, in some cases, recover funds. If the loss involved a wire transfer or cryptocurrency, also file with the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov, since speed can matter for a wire recall.
If there is immediate danger, such as a caregiver refusing to let your parent speak with you, call 911. This is not a situation to wait out.
How can you catch the pattern earlier next time?
Most of these signs are visible only after the fact, in a bank statement your parent hands you weeks later, or a conversation you happen to have at the right moment. A second set of eyes, watching the accounts on an ongoing basis, catches the pattern while it is still small. This is the idea behind Silver Dollar's read-only money monitoring: it watches for the same kinds of patterns described above, an unusual withdrawal, a new account, a spike in overdrafts, and tells the family when something looks off, while leaving every decision about the money with the parent. Nobody's access changes. Somebody just happens to be looking.
Nothing here replaces the judgment of your parent's bank, an elder-law attorney, or Adult Protective Services. This is a starting point for noticing sooner, not a substitute for reporting once you have.
Common questions
What is the most common sign of elder financial abuse?
Isolation is one of the earliest and most consistent signs elder-law attorneys point to. A parent who quietly stops seeing friends, stops taking calls when a certain person is around, or becomes hard to reach is often being kept away from anyone who might ask questions about their money.
How do I know if my elderly parent is being scammed?
Look for the combination, not a single sign. A parent who has grown secretive about money and whose bank statement shows withdrawals, new accounts, or unpaid bills they cannot explain is very likely dealing with a scam or exploitation. One sign alone can be a coincidence. Several together, at the same time, rarely are.
What should I do if I think my parent is being scammed?
Start by talking with your parent calmly and without blame, then contact their bank's fraud department if a transaction may still be stoppable. Report the situation to your state's Adult Protective Services and file a report at reportfraud.ftc.gov. If money was wired or sent as cryptocurrency, also report to the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center at ic3.gov.
Should I report elder financial abuse even if I am not sure it is happening?
Yes. Adult Protective Services and the FTC do not require proof before you file a report, only a reasonable concern. Reporting early, even when you are uncertain, gives investigators and banks a head start if the pattern turns out to be real.
Does Adult Protective Services investigate financial exploitation?
Yes. Financial exploitation is one of the core categories Adult Protective Services investigates in every state, alongside neglect and physical abuse. You can find your state's APS contact through the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau's reporting guide or a quick search for your state's adult protective services line.
Can a bank freeze an account for suspected elder fraud?
Many banks can place a temporary hold on a suspicious transaction or flag an account once fraud is reported, especially if you call before a wire or check has fully cleared. Policies vary by institution, which is why speed and a direct call to the fraud department matter more than almost anything else you can do.
What is the difference between a scam by a stranger and financial abuse by a family member?
The tactics differ, but the warning signs overlap heavily. A stranger scam usually involves urgency, secrecy, and a request for gift cards, wire transfers, or cryptocurrency. Family exploitation more often looks like a power of attorney being used beyond its intended purpose, or a relative who has become the only person handling the accounts. Either way, unexplained withdrawals and sudden secrecy deserve the same response.
